PhotoQuote #132




When I don’t get it!?

I didn’t ask for the position I am in. I didn’t even consider myself to be a candidate to be there. I was appointed! I didn’t get it! That was almost 3 years ago. ( that is mindboggling to me) What are you talking about, You ask? Being a youth leader. By far the hardest thing I have ever done. Also the most amazing privilege I have ever had.

Last Sunday, I lost it! I broke down crying during youth worship. The youth team was leading the song Your love never fails. I just couldn’t help it. These tears came streaming out of me and I couldn’t stop. I am not a crier. I had become deeply awakened to the heartache of my teens, heard from Momma’s struggling to connect with their kids. Bullying, cutting, rebellion, the fight for acceptance and attention, self-image, self hate, pain, rejection…. my heart broke for the them right in the middle of worship. God moved on me, giving me His compassion for them.

Our prayer ministry time turned into a crying out to God time for healing and a space for encouragement. In that moment all I could do and say was “I don’t have the answers God, but You do! You know what you are doing in them!”

I went to talk to my Pastor about it. I asked “ How do you do this?” “How do you stand all the pain and struggle?” He simple said “God has giving you a sliver of His heart for these teens, you cant fix it, you cant bear it, you can only accept it and give it back to Him!”   Those were profound words and the best words I could have ever heard to how I was feeling.

We are having our youth jam night at the end of the month. It is a night the teens put on a worship service and minister to the people. We invite other youth groups to come and it is open to anyone who wants to join us for the evening. Our theme is faith. When I asked the Lord what to teach leading up to this event He said Jonah. I didn’t get it! I remembered reading Jonah and seeing him as a man who ran from God, got swallowed by a fish, who finally submitted he delivered the message and the people turned to God. God relented from what He was going to do and Jonah was angry. He had a bad attitude and declared “ See I told You! I knew You were a loving God! I knew you wouldn’t destroy them!”  So I am thinking how is Jonah a picture of faith?

Well…. learning from others mistakes and seeing how God is able to do what He does with or without our co-operation is pretty amazing. God knows the end from the beginning! We can believe that God knows what our best interest is and that following, obeying, and trusting Him is the right move. It takes FAITH do that. We can’t see the end result but He can. We have to trust Him for the outcome no matter what we think, see or feel. God is good and His will…it will be done! It is interesting to me now that we (Christian peoples) say things like God is Sovereign and yet when something happens in our life that we don’t like, agree with, or understand we pray against, stand against, sometimes rail against, walk away from, or some other response. Anything other then “God help me see what You are doing in this, through this, about this even though I don’t get it, I trust You!!” I understand this thinking! I have been there! When a flood hit our home and we went through some really tough times, loss of a child, loss of jobs, God knew what He was doing and working in us. I didn’t get it. But I can see it now in hindsight. Just like reading Jonah when we get to see it from a different perspective we understand that God is good all the time even when we don’t get it!

So we are believing for God to speak to those who come and to us, our faith steps. That He would enlarge our capacity to trust Him no matter what it looks like! I am excited to see what God will do through these teens at this youth jam night. All Glory to Him in advance.


Advent…living by faith

I will bless you …and you will be a blessing to others.

Gen. 12:2

The ultimate faith I guess would be to absolutely believe this God we serve is GOOD.


To believe with all my heart that HE IS GOOD…..He will bless me.

Advent …the blessing that blesses has come

That is a trick and a half to hang on to when this world throws its curse on us.

That hanging on….. that …is …FAITH.

When we know this then we wont live in scarcity.

We will live as a blessing.

We Give because He gives and the cycle repeats.

Ann asks and will you join me in answering:

How has God blessed you?

In what ways have other people overflowed God’s grace into your life?

What are some ways you can be a blessing to others?


The blessings are many His hand has given

uprooting me from a world I was dying in and planting me in good ground

right upon the Rock called Christ

giving me a un-manipulatable man to try and vex my very flesh

giving me the sweet and gentle anointed with peace daughter of my heart

giving me the high energy and full of life tender hearted boy of my dreams

BLESSED He has called me.

BLESSED He has made me.

BLESSING I am when I open to others.

He reach’s to me through others.

Hugs, smiles, laughter, joy, kindness

Words in due season, of caution, of peace, of rest

How this world wants to rip us raw and cause us to fall

but not at all when the arms of His body hold us

I lay down my fears and doubts and worries

these do not foster a way to living

these hinder my hands and feet for the giving

its back to faith then

back to HE IS GOOD

a knowing I can trust

rooted in such a way that allows me to open my hands and give

without holding because I can trust He will fill them again

Its Christ cracked open bled and died for me

Its me cracked open giving and pouring for Him