The Lord of the heart

Proverbs 21:1 The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord,
Like the rivers of water;
He turns it wherever He wishes.

You are the Lord of the heart!

It is in Your hand

like a rudder guiding the way

turning me where I should go

Proverbs 21:2  Every way of a man is right in his own eyes,
But the Lord weighs the hearts.

weighing the heart is Your specialty

man can find any justification to fit his fancy

giving him a false freedom within

but You sort the fibers within the heart

You alone decide if what’s there is right or if it’s wrong

The heavy heart tells much

Proverbs 21:3 To do righteousness and justice
Is more acceptable to the Lord than sacrifice.

There are times we humans desire to simply find a way to take the blame from another

and sacrifice ourselves so that drama, trauma and issue may cease

we would like the pain of the uncomfortable to dissipate

so we can be free from the waiting

But You desire rightness and justice instead

and that means I must always trust and follow You

allowing You to do Your work

Sadly we humans seek at times to relieve others from Your hand

Forgetting how kind You really are

Proverbs 21:4 A haughty look, a proud heart,
And the plowing of the wicked are sin.

With great grief and hardship to ourselves we can start to believe that look in an others eyes

that says “ what’s it to you anyway?  and the expression of prides unwillingness to bend

we start to believe that the anger toward us isn’t just their perception of judgment

we churn looking for the needle in us that caused this

It is in reality the push of sin within

Its that which we all could fall by

it digs deep to drive away others and blame them instead of finding humble footing

Have mercy Lord!!- BE THE LORD OF THE HEART – and turn each of us once again to You.

For Your kindness is great and Your love is deep

Starla

LIVE LIFE

heartbeat

Live Ready….

Can I walk through the fire with my shattered and shard heart unchanged?

Can I walk among the saints of God and feel the heat they glow, that God fire within and be unmoved?

Can I do this and not be transformed?

The answer is NO!

If no change, then no fire has touched my heart.

I will remain cold hard glass. Blood cutting through and through.

The fire of God shall melt me. Turn me wholly into something else.

Melt my shard heart and blast this glass into molten lava.

CAST ME NEW

Create in me a new heart fully alive to You.

I submit, I will not hide myself or shield me any longer.

I await Your fire God!

Make me stained glass. Blood stained with the blood of Christ.

Color me Your rainbow promise

a new day

a new view of me

of You

of others

LET LOVE LEAD!

A lamenting reveal

Yesterdays post…

that Lament/Rant….

my unveiling of heart…

It is His goodness that leads me to repentance!

This I prayed at the end of my so called lament:

Me, I think I just cracked my eyes to some new light! God, my God reveal yourself in this situation. Come and display Your glory and sovereignty over my life and home. I know with You all things are possible. So hard when the evidence in not starring me in the face in a tangible way I can grasp. Let me thank you for Your Goodness even when I feel like the tide will never change. God you are a mountain mover, let me watch and see that the Lord is good be my salvation come move this mountain!!

I can only ask the Lord forgiveness and thank Him for his LIGHT.

Now for my true lament:

Oh my desperate soul, how you twist with in me.

my angry heart, has been bent on bitter thoughts.

How long, OH LORD, shall I endure these bitter pills I been given to swallow?

How long, OH Lord, will I lay in the cactus bed and with every turning of thought and remembrance stab my own heart and soul clean through?

O God, my God how awesome are your ways!

Your ways have not been my ways.

I have sat in the seat of the scornful and have drank poison wine and downed bitter meat.

I have had my double barrel gun cocked and ready.

My tongue silver and quick.

Time and time again I have called to you to redeem, remove, remedy.

Where are You GOD? Why do you allow your servant to be pushed aside, ignored, and live in need of remedy? Why do those who have hands to fix choose not to fix? Why are hearts around me felt with in and seen to be so hard, cold and indifferent?

So, I cry out, all that is within me and in Your great mercy You show me the root in my heart.

There I find the coldness and the callousness of bitter Mara. “Call me bitter for the Lord has made me bitter.” Your hand has not comforted and blessed me in my desire and need.

Now Lord do I see, with the light of the LORD I see!

My angry and bitter heart! I call to God from the bottom of myself “ Lord Forgive me!”

He calls out from the cloud to me and says “Yes daughter, Forgiven!” Jesus paid it all.

I praise the Lord, I bless His holy name for His MERCY endures forever.

He is on MY SIDE and ENCOURAGES me in a helpful way to speak forgiveness to my offenders. He has returned REJOICING to my soul for my soul says YES LORD YES LORD-Your way and not mine! CHRIST has become my victory and I can say with my all my heart YOU ARE MY GOD!

Praise be unto God who moves the mountain in me!

Thank you Lord for your gifts of GOOD PLEASURE that I can enjoy all that is from You. Thank You for the REMEMBRANCE of who I am in You. There is none like You! Thank You for the ACCESS You have given through Christ to Your heart. Thank you for the people who make up the BODY OF CHRIST for their silence when needed and for their empathy and compassion. But most of all I thank you for EXPOSING MY DARKNESS.

Your GRACE is ENOUGH!!!

 

Starla

#livewonderstruck

Not broken…

Its interesting how when you state a truth for yourself

that the tester of truth comes to test

I recently got an Ah ha moment

I am no longer broken

I am healed in the name of Jesus

I will no longer live life from my broken places

but from my healed risen life in Christ

it didn’t take long before

a situation came to one of my closest

reminding me of my past broken moments

Its strange that present things that charge emotional

can feel just like that crushing blow from the past

almost as if it happened today

and the innocence in the moment

crumbles into darkness and shadow

being covered by the blanket of past pain

I even heard myself say

My heart is broken

Telling myself that I am in need of forgiving myself

because I blamed myself for not being able to prevent

the situations that has reminded me of my shame

I have projected my inner reminder onto a current situation

when it was no where near the same

just reminisced inward that way

Can I believe??

There is therefore now no condemnation in Christ

can I believe ??

that the voice that comes to call me to shame is not the Spirit of God

it is none other than the enemy who seeks to destroy me and my faith

by getting my eyes off the truth

can I believe ??

that the soft and gentle voice that has asked me to lay the burden on Him

to release me from this tormenter of mind

is truly the Father who loves me who clearly calls me

Pure, clean, new, alive, restored, set free.

YES I CAN!