I am humbled by this God who loves and uses us broken and imperfect people to help heal and love other broken and imperfect people.
Most of the day I was afflicted by words that were spoken to me. They replayed in my mind over and over, and what’s worse is they are now being self inflicted and no matter how many times I prayed, spoke the words “Lord I forgive” I just couldn’t shake the affects of the words that were said to me.
Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue
I felt myself wanting to become more and more introverted. Wall up and hide away. How many of us know all too well the pain of words and how heavy they can be? We can even have a heart ready and willing to forgive and yet still the baton of blasting just keeps on going in the mind. So many of us have been beaten and bruised until we just sit down and stop moving all together. The only key I know to overcoming this is to keep moving, keep praising, keep seeking and keep believing that in this too my God will reign.
God is sovereign and He will be exalted. He will have his way in me.
Tonight God used me to help a young lady who had been beaten by words. Long before the words had been spoken and the enemy had come to rip her apart inside and out, God had made an appointment for me with her. I was heading over and I prayed all the way there. I didn’t know what to say. I knew some of the situation and this was heavy.
Like ships on the water of life
we float along and crash at times
when the waters are calm too long
we forget how to swim when the waves topple us
we forget how to hold on when the seas are rough
we forget how to be anchored to the author of our soul
and we sink deep into the dark abyss
Love is the anchor holding me to God and love is the line that will reach people when the darkness has surrounded them. For her the darkness was rejection and the feeling of worthlessness. For me the darkness was ridicule and dismissal accompanied by a feeling of being insignificant. You know what happened after talking and being there for her and seeing her smile with hope returning to her eyes and eating some ice cream together? I realized that God touched me bringing in healing and love & He used me to minister to her.
When we let words of unkindness have a place in our lives to name our value and have a say in what we are worth we sink every time. Only God can name our worth:
Proverbs 3:15 She is more precious than rubies, And all the things you may desire cannot compare with her.
The bottom line is – who do we believe!?
To repeat GOD IS SOVEREIGN!! – these seemingly random things that happen to us in this life, if we believe that all things work together for good to them who love God then we can trust that everything really does happen for a reason. We only find out for what, when we trust Him in all things and let Him unfold His plan.
Tomorrow is a new day! No foolish words of yesterday will have my tomorrow!!
What an awesome, healing, loving God we have!!
I still have thoughts that come and try to eat me alive whenever I speak or pray in front of people. I don’t focus on it in the moment but when a quiet moment comes…then comes also the enemy of my soul trying to enchain me again to words that have long been removed. I hear thoughts in my mind that go something like this:
…you sound so stupid….
….you make no sense….
…you don’t even know what you are talking about…
all accompanied by a feeling of worthlessness
Then I find myself saying out loud “ I hate talking in front of people!”
I had spoke up during worship at church. In a vulnerable moment I said that “I was a person who was told you’re stupid but God called me loved.” Then the enemy used my words to beat me up through out the day and so I ended up in warfare of the mind for the rest of the day, contending for what God says of me.
The only way I know how to overcome the enemy is through worship
and so I sang to my King within my soul throughout the day.
The song Lord, I need you became my companion.
When we worship, we become aware of God’s presence. And in the spirit we light up and shine like Christ on the earth.
And while that did bring me some relief the next morning I could still feel that hangover of indulging in words that crush the soul. I went to the Lord in prayer and the Word. I read 1 Corinthians. God had allow that hangover so that He could minister to me. Seriously everything happens for a reason and a teaching! And these words leapt off the page at me.
1 Cor. 1:17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.
not with wisdom of words meaning without any attempt to dazzle with eloquence or intellect, without trying to impress.
I felt rest come to my soul. Its ok to JUST BE ME!
Why? Because if I try to impress, the cross of Christ is made no effect.
What He did on the cross was enough for me!!
1 Cor. 1:26-30 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.
This is why we do not reclaim those words seared upon our souls!
We are chosen & HE BECAME FOR US WISDOM. All Glory to God!
And when I can not stand I’ll fall on you, Jesus you’re my hope and stay!!!
When He said “ It is finished!” He covered in all!!