What an awesome, healing, loving God we have!!
I still have thoughts that come and try to eat me alive whenever I speak or pray in front of people. I don’t focus on it in the moment but when a quiet moment comes…then comes also the enemy of my soul trying to enchain me again to words that have long been removed. I hear thoughts in my mind that go something like this:
…you sound so stupid….
….you make no sense….
…you don’t even know what you are talking about…
all accompanied by a feeling of worthlessness
Then I find myself saying out loud “ I hate talking in front of people!”
I had spoke up during worship at church. In a vulnerable moment I said that “I was a person who was told you’re stupid but God called me loved.” Then the enemy used my words to beat me up through out the day and so I ended up in warfare of the mind for the rest of the day, contending for what God says of me.
The only way I know how to overcome the enemy is through worship
and so I sang to my King within my soul throughout the day.
The song Lord, I need you became my companion.
When we worship, we become aware of God’s presence. And in the spirit we light up and shine like Christ on the earth.
And while that did bring me some relief the next morning I could still feel that hangover of indulging in words that crush the soul. I went to the Lord in prayer and the Word. I read 1 Corinthians. God had allow that hangover so that He could minister to me. Seriously everything happens for a reason and a teaching! And these words leapt off the page at me.
1 Cor. 1:17 For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not with wisdom of words, lest the cross of Christ should be made of no effect.
not with wisdom of words meaning without any attempt to dazzle with eloquence or intellect, without trying to impress.
I felt rest come to my soul. Its ok to JUST BE ME!
Why? Because if I try to impress, the cross of Christ is made no effect.
What He did on the cross was enough for me!!
1 Cor. 1:26-30 For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence. But of Him you are in Christ Jesus, who became for us wisdom from God—and righteousness and sanctification and redemption—that, as it is written, “He who glories, let him glory in the Lord.
This is why we do not reclaim those words seared upon our souls!
We are chosen & HE BECAME FOR US WISDOM. All Glory to God!
And when I can not stand I’ll fall on you, Jesus you’re my hope and stay!!!
When He said “ It is finished!” He covered in all!!