A change in plans

tumble

Summer always brings a TUMBLE….

The schedule for school stops.

The routines that where in place – END!

Things change….

and the adjustment is a bit of a struggle.

(I guess I don’t like change that much!! )

Trying to get to the gym the last couple weeks has been a struggle…I made it but it was hard….to leave my house. At least when we got up, got ready and left the house to go drop off for school…I was out…so to the gym I went.

THE TEST is doing it all on my own MOTiVATiON!! whoooooooooooooo!

I feel like I have an abundance of free time…

so I either pack and cram it ….and wear out fast :0/

OR

I leave it so empty that I am not accomplishing anything :0/

so …

I got back on the FLYLADY train ….

Putting in place daily routines

15 mins at a time

and I get lots done and still have fun – and make it to the gym!!

BALANCE!!

I like that.

Have a great summer…

and if you find you are TUMBLING through it

Try Flylady you may be pleasantly surprised!!

STARLA

A view of me and maybe you?

Do you worry about how you look to others?

How you feel to yourself?

ME TOO!!

Sometimes it is just annoying and I drive myself NUTS!!!

I clicked on a random post of mine called OBSERVATIONS…

Interesting to read!!

In the last year I have taken a test that my pastor suggested for us at church called the DISC test. After taking it I have been able to better see my personality in action.

…well at least become AWARE!!

It is amazing how much we HUMANS just don’t see ourselves. We are too busy looking at what others are doing and how they are reacting.

OBSERVATIONS was my shot at capturing what I was seeing in me in words :

https://starleeta.wordpress.com/2010/05/24/observation/

 

It is also wild that when I wrote it I hadn’t taken the test …but I talk about key issues of my personality. The test was so right on! and helpful to me.

It was so freeing to know that I am not a terrible person because these things keep happening to me…I found out I was made to think this way and my test and trial is learning how to work with what God gave me to His glory and not mine.

Maybe you struggle with the same issues??

“looking stupid”  –so you hide or not say anything because you fear someone will see you as dumb.

“nitpicking” –negativity, seeing what’s missing

“being vulnerable” – sharing your heart, fear of rejection.

“talking down to self” – guilt and shame placed on self from a evil monster within that wont let you be who you are.

If you do —your not alone. :0)

 

Starla

A little more Nitty Gritty.

Ok so I am at it again…

some more NITTY GRITTY!!

This whole post is making me uneasy. I wrote it and now I am adding this….

Learning to share my own lessons and struggles, hurts, and anger ….my humanness …my vulnerability.

Opening up my thinking and feeling and heart here.

So with that said : don’t judge me, just hear me…pray for me. I will do the same for you!

Finding out that some one gave you a dirty look when they thought they were scot-free to do so,  is no fun.

I have no ill will toward this person and why would they scowl at me??

I have always been kind, smiled, waved. No heart bother toward them…

THAT KIND OF STUFF JUST HURTS AND ISNT NICE…don’t do that to people. ( God help me if I do that!!)

( I watched a video where a Pastor told his congregation that the new F – word at their church was FORGIVENESS. Then he told them to tell others F- you. I don’t think they will ever think of the world’s F-word the same ever again… and so in keeping with what this pastor said and what this person did to me I suppose I will just have to FORGIVE them. —hahahah you thought I was gonna say F-them …sounds a little strange to say that to me.) :0/

Mark 11:26

But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.

ok…next Gritty!

You ever met a person with a personality that just rubs you wrong??

I know the Lord wants to grow me, in patience and tolerance. BUT SERIOUSLY!!!

I know this one is all me! —My attitude toward them.

I do my best to be kind.

I smile.

I wave.

but I also steer clear. 

( you ever do that?? –avoid people you know are going to drive you nuts?)

(this is sounding a bit like the situation above and now I am the offender..grrrrrrrrrrrr! Isn’t God good like that!!! perfect lesson from a perfect teacher. )

I know I haven’t given this person a dirty look though…yet :0/ and I don’t want to.

I want to be able to see them, hear them, be near them and not cringe in annoyance.

This is not a new lesson…

It is but a new person that God is bringing around me that has similar traits to others I have since been able to get a grip and learn to love. GOD HELP ME!!!

Consider it all joy,

                my brethren, when you 

 encounter various trials,

                             knowing that the testing of              

               faith produces    

    patient endurance.

                                    James 1:2-3

Starla

The Nitty Gritty Down and Dirty

Thinking about the reality of my life

not just the interesting little things I post ( in perfect blog posting land )

the stain-glassed people….

or seem’s hidden ways….

the play on words and what God reveals through them…IPHONE

but what about the nitty gritty

the down and dirty …( in my world : white house on the triangle corner, a river city, in USA)

the daily struggles of being a mom to the greatest little stubborn headed boy and the soon to be teenager daughter running full on into her own selfhood.

I thought that having them so far apart would be good because the older could help with the younger.

What I am finding is that they are both going through major transitions at the same time.

The BABY to a 3 year old BIG BOY -potty training and testing mom’s ever nerve through loudness and repeated offenses of annoyance to his sister.

The GIRL that is becoming a YOUNG LADY who wants to make up her own mind and wants to play– test the mental capacity of the mother in analytical and psychological matters.

What about the instant irritation of not getting my way or having my plans derailed –the anger, the whining, the sulking.

(Did you know that God can turn water into wine but He cant do anything with your whining!!??)

or how about standing in the middle of the kitchen and having a revelation moment of my own selfishness to snap me into a kinder, more loving attitude.

or the sickening feeling when God gives the breakthrough and all its beauty and glorious victory is lost in a instant through boasting.

a testimony into a gloat in 5 seconds flat. ( if you are aware enough you can feel it creep in, and sadly it feels good to the ego mind in need of that high five )

that smile fades to shame just as fast.

My heart …FOR OUT OF IT ARE THE ISSUES OF LIFE….

My soul is a fragile, fickle and testy thing…my heart is the holder of all I stay focused on.

I want to say I can do all things through Christ…..but how often do I stand and say I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!!??

I am learning not to push but to stand still and await His light to show the way ( all the while I find I am running and tripping all over myself)

My life is not unlike other women’s…

I wake up tired…want to go back to bed the entire week before aunt flow comes to town, all the while I have a husband hanging around knowing she is coming, if you get my drift :0/ –can a Jesus girl even say that !!??

I am not a fan of laundry I find it to be a necessary evil that seems to grow on its own …

and no one else seems to knows how to do it but me!!! Then it even grows when its clean while on the dining room table…(can someone else please put it away!!!! )

My dishwasher has been down for a few weeks while the rest of the house keeps piling on things for the husband to do, keeping him for blessing me with a hands free dish washing experience.

Then there is school, and piano lessons and making it to the gym for some much needed me time…

and don’t forget the occasional outing with the BFF for a reprieve from “daily everything”

— where I can laugh, and talk and spill my guts, be really honest and YES GLOAT!

Does anybody feel me???

Life isn’t terrible and I know that…but it certainly is interesting!! :0)

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!!

PS…remember its not the end of the world …just keep smiling!! I WILL!!

Starla